Supporting A Loved One in EMDR Therapy
In eye movement desensitization and reprocessing, or EMDR Therapy, the therapist asks their patient to recall traumatic or distressing memories by leading them through a series of bilateral eye movements or tapping either side of their body.
EMDR is a therapy that can provide immense relief and recovery from traumatic memories that negatively impact one’s life. Some of the main reasons why EMDR works so well to help people recover from trauma is because it's evidence-based, does not require the patient to talk about the trauma in length, does not involve extended exposure or homework, takes fewer sessions than other therapy modalities to see results, and gives the patient the freedom from their trauma to live well again.
Friends and family of the traumatized individual have a major role to play in determining the success of EMDR therapy. Having support from friends and family is crucial throughout therapy.
Why is Support Needed for EMDR Therapy?
Your loved one has experienced trauma, stressful life events, or has pervasive symptoms that have caused them to seek professional treatment. This is a courageous act to seek help and do the emotional work required to return to wellness despite the struggles they have faced.
The process of healing requires a level of emotional upheaval, returning to the traumatic event (even in brief exposure therapies like EMDR), and reprocessing and reintegrating the event into the brain and nervous system. Emotional processing not only affects someone’s mental state, but their physical state as well. Some side effects of this process may include physical fatigue, feeling emotionally exhausted, feeling emotionally sensitive or easily triggered, and having vivid dreams.
This is where support becomes especially helpful and nourishing. Your loved one has just begun the process of exploring the difficult and scary memories they may have been both flooded by and avoiding for some time. Leaning on the stability of a safe person makes a world of difference during this unresolved period of processing. Because they may feel destabilized, drained, and tender immediately following the session, having a grounding figure will mediate these symptoms and reduce their intensity. Here are some ways you can help support your loved ones going through EMDR therapy.
Learn About EMDR Therapy
Read books, articles, and blog posts on EMDR trauma therapy near you. Use online and offline resources to get an idea of what happens during therapy sessions, how EMDR works, and the techniques that EMDR therapists use.
When you have a better understanding of EMDR techniques and approaches and how they work, you are in a better position to help your loved one make informed decisions. You can share your knowledge with them to help them set expectations and goals.
You will also have a better understanding of the journey of your loved one’s treatment and how you can help them navigate the challenges they face during their journey to emotional and mental wellness.
Practice Empathy
Do not judge or ridicule your loved one for their choices, thoughts, or feelings. Try to get to the root cause of their insecurities. Instead of being critical, try to understand their reason and thoughts.
Be willing to lend an ear. Make time to talk to your loved one. Ask them what noticeable effect, according to them, has therapy had on their mental health thus far. Try to be an effective listener so you can better understand hidden meaning in their words, and where the person is coming from.
Ask Them to Teach What They Learn in Therapy
Ask your loved one to explain how they use the skills they learned in therapy to manage their condition. Additionally, ask them to teach you those skills using the same techniques their therapist uses. This accomplishes two objectives:
➢ You will develop a better understanding of the skills and practices your loved one is learning in therapy
➢ Your loved one will get an opportunity to practice the techniques they have learned and by reiterating the practice in their own word, will better understand the technique themselves
Plan to Be Available for Extra Support on Session Days
Because EMDR therapy can be triggering for individuals processing their trauma or stressful life events, having a support system can help buffer the temporary emotional dysregulation that may come the day of a session. Talk to your loved one about ways you can be emotionally available and supportive to them following their session. This may look like:
➢ Making time and space to be present for your loved one’s emotional needs where you will be able to dedicate uninterrupted quality time
➢ If appropriate and needed, have a conversation with your loved one about scheduling an EMDR therapy session around days that are easier for both of you to take a lighter schedule
➢ Because everyone desires a different form of emotional support, speak with your loved one about the ways you can support their unique needs. Whether that is just sitting next to each other, being available if needed, going for a walk, or lending an ear for possible upheaval and processing, all forms of support will show you care and that your loved one is not alone in this process
If being emotionally supportive is not something you feel comes easy for you, what matters most is not perfection, but that you show up. Your support through listening and presence is more than enough to create the environment needed to help your loved one have the strength to continue the therapeutic journey of EMDR.
At Calm Again Counseling, we are committed to helping traumatized individuals throw off the shackles of their past and take control of their life. We use different tried and tested techniques to address the root cause of trauma. To learn more about EMDR Therapy near you, call (415) 480-5192.