Help for Times of Uncertainty

Uncertainty is a common theme right now. Many of us feel worried about the future, if we’ll be able to make plans again without the fear of Covid, what will happen with our career, or what the world will look like in the next few months post-election.

There are a lot of unknowns right now, and feeling anxious about it is normal. But if anxiety feels like your default mode, let’s talk about a few ways to better cope with it in order to still show up in your everyday life and not have to feel hijacked by stress.

Here are 5 ways to re-structure your thoughts and feel less anxious for the rest of 2020:

1. Know what’s in your control

Focusing on what is in your control is one of the very best ways to feel less anxious. Anxiety is a result of overthinking and ruminating on the future and continuously asking those snowballing “what if” questions. Navigating your mind away from the “what if” train and onto the “what is” train, you can feel empowered as you become fully conscious of what you DO have full control over, focusing your precious (and limited) mental and emotional energy on what will help you move forward instead of what will keep you stuck.

Here’s a few examples of what is in your control: What you say, how you handle your emotions, who your close relationships are, what you spend your time doing, reaching out for help, taking care of your body, taking care of your mind, apologizing to someone, forgiving someone, how you vote.

In summary, we have full control over how we handle our language, emotions, and body. Furthermore, how we handle ourselves is limited to our awareness of self. For example, if we are emotionally aware, we can better control not necessarily what we feel, but how we respond to it.

If any of these three areas (language, emotions, or body) feel more out of control than you would like, becoming more self-aware of them can drastically help you in feeling less anxious. Reaching out to a mental health counselor is a great way to help you gain self-awareness and develop skills to feel more in control of your life.

2. Know what you have influence over

What and who we influence is directly correlated with our relationships. It’s important to understand where our influence lies so we can feel less overwhelmed in the world. If we can clearly pinpoint where we have influence, we can better focus our energy, and as a result, feel less drained.

Influence is made up of having: empathy, authority, and good communication/relational skills.

Examples of what you have influence over might include: your friends and family, community, co-workers, organizations you contribute to, groups you’re involved in, and those you engage with through online platforms.

It is important to note that influence does not ultimately equate to control. As you will see in the next section, there are many things we cannot control, but may be able to influence.

For example: You might influence someone’s beliefs about a political issue, but you cannot ultimately control what they choose to believe about it.

3. Know what is NOT in your control

These are important to remind yourself OFTEN, as they can be a main gateway to anxiety. There are many things in life that impact us and those around us that we do not have direct control over.

Here are some examples: Other’s choices, other’s political beliefs, other’s personal values and priorities, what other people say/do, how others think, how someone else deals with their emotions, how others feel, other’s opinions, if someone else reaches out for help, how others vote, if someone else apologizes or chooses to forgive.

When we remind ourselves of what we do not have control over, we can begin to fill that space in our brain with what we CAN control or have influence over. This helps us have a sense of empowerment and confidence in our lives. We can better manage our personal lives, careers, and future plans when we understand what we do and do not have control over.

4. Tap into your values system

What matters to you most?

If you had to name your top 5 values in life would you be able to? When we know our top values we can begin making decisions that align with them. We all have a limited capacity of what we can choose to care about, so being aware of your personal values is important to live a life that is congruent with what matters to you most. (This looks different for everyone!)

Here are a handful of values to get you thinking: creativity, self-control, knowledge, achievement, power, inner peace, fun, genuineness, humility, forgiveness, compassion, purpose, health, justice, duty, family, commitment, contribution, logic, growth, accuracy, and hope.

For more values, check out our Values Assessment Tool where you can organize your top 3-5 values so you know what’s most important to you: >>Get the Free Values Assessment Tool<<

Make sure to write/post these somewhere you will see them every day so you can be reminded of them!

5. Ground yourself DAILY

Grounding techniques like meditation and mindfulness can help you check in with the three areas you have control over: language, response to emotion, and body. When you take time to notice how you’re thinking, feeling, and how your physical body feels, you can build your self-awareness muscles big time. Staying present can be challenging for many of us, especially with so many daily distractions that compete for our attention.

Listening to a guided mediation is a great way to help you stay focused and feel less distracted. Here is one we made recently you can try!

We hope you’re taking care of yourselves and staying safe in this time. If you feel like it would benefit you to reach out to a counselor, go ahead and click the button below.