How To Change Harmful Thoughts, Feelings, and Behavior
You know that you want a better life, but you keep getting stuck in negative thoughts and behaviors. You have started to wonder if you are actually in control of your thoughts or if your thoughts are controlling you.
Whether you are struggling with anxiety, depression or just negative cycles of thought, the harmful thoughts you are experiencing have the power to also impact how you behave and how you feel.
In other words, what you think and how you act, impacts your emotions and the way you feel. Because of this, we often must looking closely at these thoughts and behaviors and transform them in order to achieve different results.
These thoughts might be conscious or unconscious. These could be perspectives that we picked up as a child in our families of origin or maybe due to an experience or trauma that we have not yet processed and healed from. Harmful thoughts can come up for many (or most) people, but the difference is in how much we believe them, can cope with them, and how we transform them into more productive thoughts and behaviors. How we cope with harmful thoughts determines the type of symptoms we will have as a result.
Whatever they may be, thoughts can be very powerful and can impact our quality of life. Our cognitions can change how we see ourselves, our relationships and the world at large.
You might be experiencing some of the following harmful thoughts:
· My anxiety/depression defines me
· My anxiety/depression has more control over my life than I do
· No one is ever there for me when I need them…
· If I make fun of myself before other people do, it won’t bother me…
· I don’t need anyone.
· If I assume that I will fail, it won’t hurt as much when I do not succeed
· If I let people get too close, they will hurt me
· My vulnerability is a weakness so I have to be strong all the time
· When I share how I feel, I will always be rejected
· Life is not going to get any better for me
· I’m not sure what I want to do with my life right now, therefore I am a failure
· If I show who I really am, others will reject me
Or you might…
· Always think the worst of people
· Have all or nothing thinking that doesn’t allow room for mixed emotions or experiences
· Jump to the worst possible conclusion out of fear, anxiety, or past trauma
· Ignore the positive parts of your life and focus only on the negative
· Avoid celebrating the good because it’s only a matter of time before you feel down again
· Believe you are less capable or less resilient than you really are
· Believe you have little control over your life and your happiness
· Cope in ways that are physically or mentally unhealthy
Getting stuck in these unhealthy thought patterns and cycles of behavior can end up causing us to settle in relationships or careers, to feel lonely or disconnected from others, to want less for ourselves, and to feel like everyone and everything else in the world has more control over our own lives than we do. We begin to feel like joy and connection just are not in the cards for us.
You might be feeling like these thoughts or your depression/anxiety defines you, but you actually have more control and potential for joy and success than you think you do.
When clients are faced with challenging thoughts and behaviors, we like to work with Cognitive Behavioral Therapy or CBT. The premise of CBT is that your thoughts and your behaviors impact how you feel. When these thoughts/behaviors are unhelpful, you are not able to live your life to the fullest.
However, when you become aware of these unhelpful thoughts, you can begin to challenge them, recognize how they are impacting other areas of your life and use new skills and understanding to live more confidently and enjoyably.
This is a popular and effective form of therapy that has a structured approach, meaning there is a clear format to each session, and progress is often measured using empirically-validated psychological measurements. Your therapist will often facilitate engaging activities during session, equip you with worksheets and resources, and assign “homework” for you to complete in between sessions.
CBT is also typically a short-term approach, meaning you won’t have to wait weeks or months for to start seeing real results.
At Calm Again Counseling we use CBT to treat:
· Anxiety
o General anxiety
o Social anxiety
o Panic attacks
· Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder
· Depression
If you are ready to get out of the negative and unhelpful cycles and start living the life you really want and deserve, click below to get started today!