3 Ways to Help Manage Anger
3 Ways to Help Manage Anger
Are feelings of anger interrupting your everyday life and holding you back from certain relationships? Does it feel difficult to control your anger at times, as if it almost “takes over”?
Anger management is something many people have difficulty with. Experiencing anger is a very normal human emotion. However, if it’s happening often, we can’t control it, and it’s over minor offenses, it may be at a point where we need further help managing it.
You may be experiencing anger regularly if you find yourself:
Clenching your jaws or grinding your teeth.
Having frequent headaches.
Having stomach aches.
Having an increased and rapid heart rate.
Sweating, especially your palms.
Feeling hot in the neck/face.
Shaking or trembling.
Experiencing dizziness.
What do I do if I’m having a hard time controlling my anger?
1. Take a “Time Out”
If you feel like you’re about to lose control, express that you need a minute to cool down and leave the situation before things get aggressive. Maybe go to a nearby room and take 5 slow deep breaths. Give your heart rate time to slow down and your thoughts time to regulate. Once you feel a bit more calm, try and process what just happened.
Ask yourself, what made me feel upset just now? If you’re angry at someone, ask yourself what your goal is with this person. Are you wanting connection with them? Do you need them to hear you out? How could you go about getting your need met without losing control or getting aggressive?
**If you are leaving a situation with another person involved, try your best to communicate with them that you need time to calm down, but will be back to discuss things further in _____ amount of time. Make sure you stay true to your word and circle back to the conversation once you’ve had a chance to process.
2. Avoid blaming and use “I” statements
When we’re upset it’s easy to go straight into “blame the other person” mode. Unfortunately, this is rarely met with understanding by the person it’s directed towards.. Blame often feels like an attack especially if we’re angry. Using “I” statements to express what you’re upset about can help the other person hear you and stay open to what you’re trying to communicate. For example, avoid phrases such as “You never…” “You always…” and instead try “I feel sad because I haven’t seen you very much this week” or “I feel upset when you don’t clean up after yourself”.
3. Exercise
When we experience the physical symptoms listed above, our bodies can feel overwhelmed with energy. It’s helpful to have a way to channel it in order to release some of it in a healthy way. Going for a run, hitting the gym, or even going for a walk and getting fresh air can help clear our minds and release the energy our bodies build up when we get angry. Doing this regularly can help regulate our emotions and improve our overall mental health.
It’s important to know that none of these tips can ultimately “fix” anger issues, but they are helpful to use when our anger feels overwhelming or unmanageable.
If you are experiencing anger management issues frequently, it may be time to reach out for help. Here at Calm Again Counseling, we offer anger management therapy for both teens and adults. We believe that finding calm again really is possible and you don’t have to do it alone.
